A Watching Father
by DioLink
Summary: Lloyd is having trouble deciding about how he should release Origin. Spoiler!


DioLink: This is just a bunch of jumbled thoughts in Lloyd's head about Kratos being his father. His friends giving him some advice and yeah, enjoy.

Lloyd: DioLink doesn't own Tales of Symphonia

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**A Watching Father**

The moonless sky seemed to fit with Lloyd's mood perfectly, dark, alone...there wasn't much of anything else going through the swordsman. Only hours ago he was informed about how his mother had died...about whom his father was...about things he had always wondered but never known. The man that betrayed him, that insulted and belittled him, the man that took the person her cared for the most from him...but as much as Lloyd hated Kratos' actions he couldn't possibly hate him.

_'It explains everything, from the time I met him at the Temple of Martel he was looking out for me. Telling me to stay behind so I wouldn't get hurt, refusing me to come, teaching me better swordsman skills, staring at me in Triet and Noishe's fondness to him! His anger towards Kvar...Kratos wasn't acting like himself. He even said **'Why can't we just kill everyone and get to Kvar...'** Raine was surprised by his actions and I was too caught up in avenging my mom to notice. He hinted so much...but I couldn't see it.'_ Lloyd sighed as he leaned his head back and looked to the stars past the falling snowflakes in Flanoir.

"Thirteen years...thirteen years that he didn't know I was alive...that we didn't grow together...that I didn't learn from him..." _'Dirk was a good father, I'm not saying he isn't but...I just wish Kratos was there a lot more than he had been.'_ "But that wasn't his fault!" Lloyd sighed and stared out into the snowy city of Flanoir. "How can he spend time with someone he thought was dead?" _'But he could have tried to find me...he just gave up and went back to Mithos. Completely forgetting the life he had made, the family he had. Did he even bury mom? Did he even say goodbye?'_ "But mom was a monster at the time...he couldn't risk it could he?" _'Why didn't he stop mom? Noishe protected me not him!'_ "But he loved mom and...it must have been hard...hard to...kill her..." _'But we can save Clara! We saved Pietro! He knew about the Unicorn and about that book Raine was talking about!'_ "He doesn't know many healing arts though...and unicorns can only be approached by pure maidens...he didn't have Undine as a summon spirit! There wasn't any possible way." _'But Mithos created all those pacts! Mithos would have been able to summon Undine!'_ "But there wasn't a pure maiden to retrieve the horn..."

For hours upon hours Lloyd argued with himself about what he really felt for his father. If he could go through with killing him and relasing Origin...if he could really rid these worlds of the man that had created him. Finally Lloyd looked to the Curxis Crystal in his left hand. He pulled the light blue gem from his hand and held it between his fingers studying it carefully. Both sides had good points, neither stronger than the others. "Mom...what do I do?"

"Lloyd?" The calming voice belonging to Sheena reached Lloyd's ears. He turned to her awaiting her to continue as he placed the Cruxis Crystal back in his hand. "Are you alright?"

"As alright as I can be." Lloyd responded as he looked back to Flanoir.

"I guess you're thinking about Kratos and the fight huh?" Sheena walked over to him and leaned her elbows down on the ledge.

"Yeah, I don't know what to do. Kratos...isn't only my father but he was comrad and he's my friend. Not matter what he has done nothing changes that. I was asking mom for help." Lloyd looked down to the cyrstal and brushed it lightly.

"Lloyd." Sheena placed her hand over his to grab his attention. "Whatever decision you make...it'll be the right one. Everyone believes in you and what you want these worlds to become. If we didn't we wouldn't have been on this journey as long as we had. Even Zelos is still around." She smiled as Lloyd chuckled lightly. _'At least he's a little happy.'_ "Lets go back to the inn, it's kinda cold out here. You wouldn't want to get sick."

"I'll be back in a minute, I just want to think for a little while longer."

"Don't push yourself Lloyd." She released his hand and turned, walking off.

"Don't push myself..." Lloyd mumbled as Sheena disappeared in the inn. "...I only have so long before I have to make this decision. Pushing is all I'm going to do." Lloyd stepped from the small platform and headed to the inn

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"Lloyd!" Zelos called to the swordman as he reentered the inn. "Come over here, Lloyd." Zelos waved him over as he took a sip from his drink and pushed a chair for Lloyd to sit in smiling lightly as the boy took the offer.

"What's up, Zelos?" Lloyd asked as he rested his elbows on the table.

"I saw you standing out there for awhile, you okay?"

"I'm fine." Lloyd spoke slight annoyed. "I'm just enjoying the view."

"Liar. You and I both know you're totally bummed out about this whole Kratos thing. I have some advice for you Lloyd. Kratos may be your father, your companion and your friend...but he betrayed you. His mission was to lead Colette to her rebirth as an angel. He didn't care about you or your feelings. When you make your decision think hard, very hard, about everything that happened. About everything you know, his words, his actions. Don't just throw this decision aside! Remember this will end with one death...yours...or your fathers."

"Thanks, Zelos...that's helped." Lloyd responded sarcastically. He stood and pushed the chair in. "Don't stay up all night, we're going to the Tower of Salvation early tomorrow."

"Heh, won't that be eventful." Zelos started to chug his drink.

Lloyd looked to Zelos for a moment before turning to the stairs and starting up them and to his room. He quickly opened the door and shut it locking it after, Lloyd couldn't really deal with another peron's advice anymore. It was hard enough with him in his head but now he had him, Zelos and Sheena.

There was alight rapping on the door only minutes after Lloyd had closed it. Knowing he couldn't just ignore it he unlocked the door and opened it looking to Regal. "May I come in Lloyd?" The swordsman nodded as he opened the door.

Regal walked past Lloyd and sat on one of the beds and looked to him. "I only figure that you've been talked to already about your father. I'm not going to tell to do anything Lloyd but I will share something with you that I'm sure your father had gone through. It's something that I went through when I had to...kill Alicia"

"Regal...you really don't..."

"Please Lloyd...let me tell you. It'll help myself and hopefully you and your decision." Regal watched as Lloyd nodded and sat down to listen. "After I had killed Alicia a feeling of emptiness had taken over me, I lost all strength to continue work in my company, I turned myself over to the authorities and I couldn't even bury Alicia myself. To just see her deceased body was too painful but knowing I was the one that had harmed her...that had taken her life. I'm sure your father felt the same." Regal closed his eyes lightly to gain his strength. "When Alicia asked me to kill her...I couldn't, I would have rather faced death...but to leave her in that state...I couldn't bear it. I'd rather face a life of pain than let myself die knowing she was living eternal hell. I cannot vouch for your father...but when you told me he had to do the same thing to the woman he loved, that he wish to share his future with, whom had bore him a son...I'm sure it was just, or much more, difficult." Regal opened his eyes and stood up. "I figure you are a little unhappy about your past with him and about him leaving but just remember...Kratos did the same thing I did." Regal headed to the door and opened it, he stopped in the doorway and looked back to Lloyd. "He took the burden and the pain of killing those he loved so they wouldn't suffer."

With the light click of the door Lloyd stood and looked out into the snow falling past his window. He sighed lightly before walking to the door and flicking the lights off. He removed his boots and shirt before lying down on the bed and curling up with the blankets tightly around him. "Hopefully tomorrow...things will be a little more clear..."

**The End**

A/N: From here it goes on to the next morning in the game.

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End file.
